Going to the temple helped me feel more at peace. On Thursday, our call from the NICU told us that Little Dorrit will most likely lose her first three toes on her left foot. The toes have been black with only some pink flesh since the day after she was born, likely due to tiny little blood clots that have blocked the circulation to her toes. Now, the toes are necrotic and although the medical professionals we are working with aren't certain she will lose her toes, they think it is very likely to happen. Perhaps, because this is such a physical manifestation of her illness, I just fixated on this and really began mourning the loss of her toes. Who doesn't love little baby toes and feet? Now, along with all her other health issues, if Little Dorrit pulls through, she will have to go through life with "different" feet. In the grand scheme of things, the loss of a few toes isn't too terrible, I guess. Really, we are lucky it isn't a whole arm or leg.
She is still very sick and we keep looking for and trying to appreciate the small improvements she does make. Like, yesterday, she had her eyes open for a long time while we visited with her. That's the first time I've seen her with her eyes open for more than just a second. And, she's being fed breast milk through a little tube now. Also, good.