Friday, August 29, 2014

The Waiting Game

We have less than a month to go before our scheduled C-section so I feel like all we have to do now is just wait...wait and see if something happens...wait and see if nothing happens. Maybe everything will be fine...maybe it won't and we'll have to deal with another "infant demise" as it is described in all my medical records. This is the time in the pregnancy where I'm starting to feel the most nervous/anxious because at this point in our previous pregnancies, everything was fine (to our knowledge) until we had to have emergency deliveries at 37.5 weeks.

While we wait for our delivery date, I have non-stress tests (NSTs) every week to check the baby's heart and movements. If there is a non-reactive NST, then that means we'll probably have to have another emergency C-section and whatever has caused the non-reactive NST has already happened. So, like before, we will have very little chance of medically "fixing" the problem after the baby is born. And unfortunately, there is no way to catch in advance whatever happened with our previous babies at 37.5 weeks because we still don't know what caused their issues. We've come so far without incident, I keep hoping and praying the rest of the pregnancy continues to be that way. I know there are a lot of people praying for us and we are so grateful for all of the good thoughts and prayers that have been sent up on our behalf.

Sometimes, I get really excited when I think about the baby and other times I just feel scared of the unknown and what could happen in the next three weeks. The other day, I bought some girl baby clothes (they were on sale) - not too many though because I'm so hesitant to buy anything to add to the two or three boxes of girl clothes in the attic that have never been worn. I think this weekend I'm going to get those boxes down from the attic and find something for the baby to where when we get to take her home from the hospital! (see, I'm being optimistic, I used the word "when") Or maybe I'll just go shopping and buy her just one little special thing. We've asked friends and family to hold off on buying baby gifts and hosting baby showers until after the baby is born. It just makes things easier that way, I think. Whatever happens, we will be okay. We are hoping for the best outcome and even celebrated our hopefulness by taking some maternity photos with the super talented Lissa Chandler. Here are a few of my favorites.

I've never done maternity photos before and it was so fun to do these - I had to rely solely on Lissa to tell me what to do in each of the photos. When seeing photos of yourself, it's easy to criticize the way you look, especially when you're pregnant, but I've just come to accept that this is really how I look when I'm pregnant (white legs, chubby arms and all). And I'm okay with that. Lissa is an artist and did an amazing job with the photos.


Michelle said...

You are amazing and beautiful!! Thanks for being who you are, and inspiring so many. I will keep you and your cute family in my prayers!

Mary said...

Aria! You are so beautiful!!! You are such an amazing woman who has touched and changed my life for the better!! We are praying for you!!! Love and miss you so much!!

Cormorant said...

Aria! I decided to check blogs for the first time in probably a year and was delighted to see the news that you are expecting again. I read about your being "cautiously optimistic" and I think you are amazing. I know you are getting toward the end of your pregnancy, and wanted you to know that we are now hoping and praying for you and your cute family! I saw (briefly) that you finished another master's degree--well done! Too bad we couldn't have study groups together. ;) Anyway, sending our love and joy your way. xoxo Becki

Joeby said...

I just love the pictures of your sweet family! And, you are precious!! Beautiful! We are praying that all goes well. We are so thankful for your sweet spirit! Love you bunches!

A Little Tidbit: said...

Aria, my prayers and thoughts filled with love are being sent your way. Hugs to you dear friend. Much love Candy