Thursday, June 12, 2014

Cautious Optimism

It's been almost two months that this blog has been silent. Not to give excuses, but since January, our lives have been pretty crazy and I have high hopes that things are starting to settle down at least for the time being. And here's why...In May, I finished a master's degree in Educational Technology and since finishing, I have enjoyed the luxury of having my evenings free of homework! Just yesterday, Mr. Rochester found out that he passed his comprehensive exams for his PhD program so he is now officially ABD (all but dissertation). Preparing and taking these exams was very stressful and work-intensive for him and it's a huge relief (for both of us) that he passed and is one step closer to finishing his degree. Now, all that he has left is to write his dissertation, which I know will take a long time and be very work intensive, but I think Mr. Rochester is actually looking forward to all the writing and research he gets to do for this. So, with a few of our academic endeavors successfully ending, I feel like life might slow down for us for a bit...until about mid-September at least. Why, September? Well, of course, Trotwood will be starting kindergarten and Mr. Rochester will be teaching classes but we are also expecting a baby in September!
As many of you know, over the past six years, we have had two baby girls born via emergency C-section at 37.5 weeks gestation and both died inexplicably shortly after birth. Since our last daughter died in 2012, we have sought the advice and help of various doctors and specialists to help us figure out what happened with our two girls and how it could possibly be prevented in the future. After much discussion and various testing recommended by doctors and specialists, we still have no answer as to what caused the deaths of our two babies. After discussing this with one specialist, he pointed out to me that as unsettling as it may be to me to not have an answer, the fact that they haven't been able to pinpoint a specific disease or find something genetically wrong with us might actually be a good sign. When I asked him about having more children, he stated that he thought Mr. Rochester and I could be "cautiously optimstic" about having another baby. And so after much thought, prayer, and consideration on the topic, Mr. Rochester and I felt like we could be cautiously optimistic about trying to add a new member to our family once again. (We are still trying to adopt and still have an adoption profile up at

Currently, I am 22 weeks pregnant and we are having another girl. My due date is October 10th but we are planning on delivering at about 36 weeks in light of what has happened in the past although early delivery is no guarantee that something may not happen again. As of right now, everything is fine with my pregnancy but it always has been at this point. I'm working with three doctors - a local OB & MFM (maternal fetal medicine specialist) and an MFM in St. Louis associated with Washington University in St. Louis - and we plan to deliver in St. Louis. With this pregnancy, Mr. Rochester and I are just trying to be prepared for anything because we have no idea what might happen. Everything could go fine and we might have a healthy baby girl, we could have a baby with severe disabilities, or we could end up with the same outcome as our last two baby girls. Although we continue to realistically examine our situation, we are still trying to remain cautiously optimistic about the future with the hopes that this pregnancy will end with a different outcome than with our last two girls.


Joeby said...

We are praying for you every day!! Love you so much!

Jani said...

Still praying every day too! So excited to meet your precious little one in pictures!!!

Jenny said...

We are thinking all good thoughts for you. Congratulations to Eddie for passing his exams and to you for graduating! You are a wonderful family, and I can't wait to hear great news about the newest member.

Mary Rogers said...

I'll be cautiously optimistic with you Aria! so happy with your news.