Well, tomorrow is the day I have not been looking forward to for the last three months. I have to go back to work. I feel very sad about having to leave Trotwood and go back to work but I understand and have accepted that we need the health insurance. Although I hate the idea of leaving Trotwood during the day, I am just grateful that Mr. Rochester's school schedule is such that he will be able to stay home with Trotwood while I am at work. A friend from church has offered to watch Trotwood a few hours a week while Mr. Rochester is in class.
I keep worrying about how everything will be after tomorrow...how am I going to get enough sleep at night in order to get up for work in the morning? Will I be successful in using a breast pump at work so I can continue to breastfeed Trotwood? Will I have the energy I need to continue to get up in the mornings and exercise before I go to work? How will Mr. Rochester be able to complete all of his schoolwork and finish applying to PhD programs when his time is taken up all day watching our beloved Trotwood? And the list goes on...Whatever happens after I go back to work, I know everything will work out somehow. Worrying doesn't do any good, but unfortunately it is just something that I do.